Musings and Inspiration for Sensitive Badasses
I was chatting with a client today and we were discussing how she overthought scenarios in her head before they even happened. It was holding her back from asking what she deserved, and from standing up for her worth for fear she would upset someone.
Read MoreFor much of my life, I felt deeply flawed and very unsafe in this world. I clung to any scrap of stability I could find. That’s where perfectionism saw her "in". She dug her claws in me and set up shop.
Read MoreWhen I was growing up, no one taught me about what it meant to be sensitive. All I knew is that I was different. That my emotions and depth made people uncomfortable. I knew that I hated being this way. I hated feeling like I didn’t belong.
Read MoreIn the earlier parts of my life, I felt very unsafe in this world. It was as if I was an alien that had been placed in some foreign land. I often felt like I was walking around without skin on. I was so vulnerable to things, I got hurt so easily.
Read MoreI remember when I first started working on my self talk, and my attitude towards myself, another destructive pattern would pop up. My intention was to be kinder to myself, but my inner perfectionist reared her ugly head…
Read MoreI used to think I had to search outside of myself for validation of my worth. I felt I had to PROVE that I was worthy of love. That I had to work harder to earn my worthiness, love and attention. To MAKE UP for what I felt was a shameful flaw that I carried…
Read MoreFor a long part of my life, I was in an abusive relationship, with myself. As a deeply sensitive little girl, I had at a young age felt very misunderstood, different, weird. As I got older that grew into a firm belief that I was somehow deeply flawed- that something was wrong with me and that I had to work extra hard to prove that I was enough,
Read MoreAre you sick and tired of absorbing the negative emotions, moods, and energies of those around you? Those of us who are Highly Sensitive and/or empaths actually have a lot in common with toilet paper!! Funny, but true. 🚽😂😂😂😂
Read MoreWhen you’re sensitive, life is harder to bear. It feel like the volume is turned up all the way. All the time. You are walking around with an extra level of sensing that makes everything heavier and harder. It amplifies the noise, and the pain. On top of that, you have the world around you giving you messages that you are “too much,” that you are weak, and that your feelings aren’t valid. It’s no wonder it’s so easy to get traumatized as a sensitive woman. We carry SO much, and yet to try to fit in, to belong, to be loved- we so often push down our true feelings.
Read MoreDish with Devani Ep. 12 // How to grow your business + thrive as an empath! Are you a sensitive entrepreneur? Do you consider yourself an empath? (An empath is when you are affected by other people's energies and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others).
Read MoreIt’s that time of the year again! Wondering what to get for your highly sensitive friends or family members? I’ve got you covered with my annual list of a few of my favorite sensitive things! From stress relief, to energy lifting, to a better night’s sleep, each of these gifts cater to the sensitive women’s unique needs. And don’t forget to treat yourself, too!
Read MoreA few weeks ago I was at a leadership workshop in LA. My dear and friend and fellow coach who was running the event challenged me to do 100 Facebook Live videos in 100 days. WHOA! I accepted the challenge, not realizing quite what I was getting myself into! I did about nine days straight and then Thanksgiving came along. 1...2...3 days passed and I didn't show up for my challenge. But instead of beat myself up over this, I decided to use it as a teaching tool.
Read MoreA client recently asked me a very profound question. She said "How do you know when your it's your fear talking or your intuition?" For example, people always say "feel the fear and do it anyway." But what if it's not fear you're feeling... what if it's your intuition cautioning you not do something. In which case you shouldn't do it. Whereas if it's fear that's holding you back from expansion or forward movement you should challenge the fear and do the thing anyway. This is a particularly relevant issue for sensitives, because so often we grow up learning to distrust our feelings. We hear all the time that we're "overreacting" or "why are you being so sensitive?" "why are you being so dramatic?" Basically the feedback we are being given is that our feelings are somehow wrong.
Read MoreWorry is a prayer for chaos.
As sensitives we are tuned into the pains and all the emotions of the world. Because we can feel so deeply what others are experiencing, it is our natural inclination to want to help and to fix and to comfort. We are naturally nurturing and helpful people. The problem, however, is we end up spending a lot of time worrying and fixated on things we can’t control. We feel a responsibility to fix because we have this ability to feel and pick up on what others don't notice. We feel a sense of relief when we can do something to help someone. But fixating on everyone’s problems comes with a price.
Read MoreHaving just come back from an incredible trip to Europe and getting (wait for it....) ENGAGED while I was there, I have relationships on the brain!
I did a vlog awhile back where I talked about what to do when you have a partner who doesn't understand your sensitivity. And I was really thinking about this a lot this week because my fiance and I have been together for 8 years. When we first started dating we were very different people then we are now, especially me. I was working actively on my self esteem at the time, but was still struggling with truly loving myself. And unfortunately, in the beginning of our relationship, he was not very respectful of my sensitivity. And it wasn't because he was a mean person. Usually when someone is critical of your sensitivity it is because people are afraid of things they don't understand. I
Read MoreFeeling feelings has been something I have struggled with my whole life. Even now, as I coach other women on this very thing, it can still come up for me. But as my mentor Gabrielle Bernstein always says, "you teach what you most need to learn." So here we go!
Growing up as a sensitive child is hard. It feels like you are experiencing everything on overdrive, or as I like to say- it's as if the volume on life turned up extra loud. And we notice things that other people don't. Because we are super perceptive and we have the ability to read other's emotions and feel deeply what other's are feeling. And what happens is that we begin to notice subtle discrepancies between what people are saying, and what is actually going on.
Do you remember who you were before the world told you who you were "supposed" to be?
This is a conversation we were having in my Super Sensitives Facebook group this weekend. An it strikes me as such a profound question- particularly for sensitive souls. If you're like me, growing up sensitive you so often were told you were too dramatic, too emotional, and that you were overreacting to things. You were told you cry too much, and that you shouldn't be so upset by this or that thing. You were bombarded with negative feedback from the world that was telling you that you weren't being the way you were supposed to be. And as a sensitive, you absorbed that feedback to your core.
If you are an empath or highly sensitive person, you are familiar with the feeling like you have “taken on” the energy of others or “absorbed” other people’s emotions. This is because we are more energetically porous- more open- more perceptive and just generally more empathetic. This trait is beautiful when you know how to navigate it, it can make you a better friend, listener, creative, intuitive, etc. But for so many of us it feels draining, exhausting, confusing... it can make you want to crawl in a hole and never come out! At the end of the day we can feel all clogged up with energetic “gunk”, and it’s hard to tell what feelings are even ours! It becomes challenging to set boundaries, and it can often lead to self destructive behaviors to numb out from the pain and overwhelm of it all.
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